into the unknown
It's hard to know what lies ahead in a world that feels upside down and flooded in a shadow of murky waters except for the weight of the long uphill climb that we've arrived at.
It's hard to know what lies ahead in a world that feels upside down and flooded in a shadow of murky waters except for the weight of the long uphill climb that we've arrived at.
I haven't ever literally shared my views as it's been a preference to tuck my truths in a cloak: the art of words can be a lovely veil to wear. But at this point in time, I am unable to weave a magical tapestry for my inside screams have become intolerable.
It's been a long year. And I've spent the majority of that year in a private heightened sense of anxiety given the circus that headlined the news. While most laughed it off as something preposterous, outlandish, improbable, I sat alert. Kind of like looking as a caged python began to chew away at the wires until it freed itself.
And now here we are in a brand new epic unknown. Since that day, I've not known how to be within myself, let alone with others. I've not been able to write, photograph or feel any sense of possibility. Maybe unlike most, I've turned inward; searched my soul and my heart. You see in ways, I feel like my truths have been violated or somehow tangled up into knots I can't undo. It's a helpless feeling. And the only way out is through.
I realized this weekend that we all have to find our way through together. For me, that will mean speaking my truth more plainly than I have in ways that are kind of frightening. It's easy to think about some days until that day arrives.
And that day is upon me.
long weekend in maine
I had just come off of a rather stressful event project the first time I visited Maine and I will never forget the ride to there from Boston.
I had just come off of a rather stressful event the first time I visited Maine and I will never forget the ride to there from Boston. As the miles ticked by, so did all the burden's I'd carried over many months. And by the time I arrived, I felt I'd escaped into neverland.
Solstice Full Moon, York Maine - 2016
The ten days in Southern Maine actually led to the decision to move. A decision that arose after a day on Ogunquit Beach . As I sat on a patio having a snack, lingering over the last bits of sunshine, a ladybug flew onto my hand and being their significance in our world, I took it as a sign of all that had been blowing through my brain. I'm not sure what it is about Maine, or the Southern part we frequent, but there is something decidedly different. The pace is a little slower, my heart is a bit more open and appreciative, and everything just feels a little simpler and softer. So took advantage of an offer to spend a long weekend and left the world for four long beautiful days. Awakening early each morning with coffee on a deck surrounded by tall trees, time on an empty beach as it wasn't yet high season, and walks along the ocean does something to a person's soul in a good way. That our short visit happened to coincide with a solstice sun and full moon was icing on the cake. I guess there's a reason for the sign as we cross over the border from New Hampshire: Maine - The Way Life Should Be.
paradise 2016
Being as I'm not a winter person, I'm fortunate that one of my most revered persons in the world happens to live in Southwest Florida.
Being as I'm not a winter person, I'm fortunate that one of my most revered persons in the world happens to live in Southwest Florida. Like birds that migrate, I would head there December first and return to New England for spring. As it is, I am lucky to visit for week to ten days.
Self Portrait in Bonita Springs, Florida - 2016
As this visit seems to free my photographer's spirit, I came away with images that stirred up the inspiration I long for in the dead of winter. I returned to shadows and tried to create images I felt. I explored with different techniques with an easy pace. I'm rather pleased with the range of expressions (and a few shadow silhouettes for my portfolio). As a bonus, I was able to visit with a photographer friend this year; and tho I tend to get a bit anxious each time I meet with a fellow creative, we packed a lot of miles into our conversation despite the short visit. So here are my impressions from my time in paradise.
in between
“Even when muddy your wings sparkle bright wonders that heal broken worlds.”
― Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams
“Even when muddy your wings sparkle bright wonders that heal broken worlds.”
― Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams
at sunset, okc | 2015
When a good too many days have blurred together, the resulting collage feels like an invisible shade that shields and selectively renders a refined view - it's like a long drink of lemonade on a hot July afternoon when one lingers under a canopy of leafy branches taking solace in the subtle coolness of shade. It is but a moment to take stock of what's on the other side of the present. Reveling in a time out of the virtual. Finding magnificence in a speck of dust on the journey of the neverland in one's imagination.
my family - 2014
Cherish your human connections: your relationships with friends and family.
Joseph Brodsky
What to say about this year with the girls who are now older girls ... I cherished my human connectin so much that this year was more about the being there with them than the need/pull to document them with pictures. To be perfectly candid, I wasn't all that into it and neither were they. What's worked in the past doesn't fit any longer and so we will find a new way to explore and expand in the year ahead in a way that is a little more interactive and collaborative. This photograph conveys my sentiments - a passage through to the other side.
And yet there were these beauties which express all i could say and more about who these two are right now.
And here is the larger story - all the pages laid out in a way that tells their story this year.
faceless
And then there comes a time when some girls at around age 10 see themselves in comparison to others. As I was one of those girls who despised what I saw in the mirror, it's a hard photograph to take....knowing I've caught a moment in ways of self rejection. Here, this one didn't want her photograph taken at all and with a heavy heart, I did anyway - because for me, it told the story of that summer.
AMW | 2011
Why this works? Though it's taken fairly close in the camera frame, her position is an arc, a half circle - the remainder filled in by the position of the chairs in the background. I see soft figures in the background and know this is some kind of street event. i see her fingers pressed heavily onto her face, the bits of nail polish that remain on her fingers and the conviction of hiding.
summer vacation
at ten years of age, there is nothing sweeter or freer than the beginning of summer with what feels like many days ahead to fill with swimming and snacks and sleepovers and playing outside with what feels like forever friends.
three years ago watching my nieces in the pool playing a synchronized jumping in together with a friend, i remembered all those feelings i had at their age and wanted to pay homage to that. this photograph is the result.
as for the image, i liked how the girls stood out against the woods - framed by tall trees and wild growth. i have clear sense of the season and with the light shimmering on the pool, i know it's later in the day (it was actually after 4pm). but it was their individual pose - the different jumps - that made this particular image work: the two on the ends reach towards left and right and frame the one in the center who's stretches upwards.
a&k @11 & 12 | july, 2011
Wells Blog
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